Vincents Journal
by Jade-Dusk
Summary: This is as the title states. This is the latest JadeDusk creation, so Please enjoy!
1. Entry 1

Vincents Journal

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Authors Note: First off I have to apologize for that awful story I tried to write before but a certain someone helped open my eyes and I have to thank them for their advice and help. I've taken the story down and I intend to try to make it better and more descriptive with ALOT less errors. Please note that this is my own personal view on what Vincent might think and act like so this isn't a 100 accurate entry. Please feel free to leave a comment, comments tend to inspire me to write more.

Enough talk! Read away! Please enjoy!

P.S. if you don't like it or a certain something in it, review it or message it to me and I'll try to fix it. Also remember if you dislike this story and feel like telling me, I always demand to know why.

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January 5th, 2003

I spoke with sister Claudia today. She appears to still be rambling on about God. HER God is all she cares about these days. She doesn't want to discuss her feelings, she doesn't want to talk about a simple book she's read. All she wants from me is to listen to her go insane, because that's exactly where she's headed. Perhaps she's already there. Its rather hard to say. I can't help but feel the searing hate she has for me when those steal eyes point my way. Its been a long time since I've seen them in any other emotion than in fury or sorrow.

My fear for what she has become is undeniable. I believe my one existence feeds her rage like a starving lion, stalking its next pray. It makes me wonder when I'll be pounced on. She filled me in on her plans today despite her loathing of me. She wants to bring forth a god. A god born from hatred. How clever my dear Claudia is. Hatred brings sympathy. As much as I deny it, I love the way her mind works. She's like a small child. She's so predictable in my eyes. I have doubts anyone other than I, knows how she thinks. One thing she has gotten past me is how she feels, its slipped past me like the sands of time. If time could return to the past, I would have never made the mistakes I made, and caused someone dear to me so much pain. Instead of keeping myself together, I let her creep beneath my skin like a parasite. She still feeds off my fear and emotions as good as she ever has. I try to be strong around her. I try with every stubborn bone in my body. I'm much like a locked casket, only see seems to have the key. She opens me wide.

I am still, however, puzzled by her confidence and determination. She's such a mystery to me. Perhaps one of these days I will solve that retched puzzle and fill in all her missing pieces. She would rather give up herself to bring forth a salvation for people she's never even met before. Her heart is bigger than most I must admit. She wishes to see all those who deserve it dance upon the grassy earth, swaying with the daisies as She has always wished to do. It scorns me to even think it, but I admire that about her. She doesn't know one rather large detail about the world she lives in, we have to have good times as well as bad times or the world just wouldn't be.

She just doesn't understand the need for a balance in this world. We have earthly horrors, such as right here in Silent Hill, we also have our own earthly pleasures. Some of my own involve a glass of the finest wine and a good book. Those are only my more, calming pleasures. I tend to lie when I state I don't like to get hot and sweaty I enjoy it to some degree, I'm no innocent Priest, I do enjoy more straining and sinful acts. Perhaps it's a sin, but I suppose that tickets me on the first train to Hell like any other woman loving man in this world. However no matter what, I can't seem to get a nagging blond out of my thoughts. Its almost my own sick pleasure to think of her that way. For that, I simply clear my head of those past memories and move on ahead of me.

Tomorrow I have to interview one of the sisters of this church. She's easily swooned by me so I shouldn't have much of a problem pulling information I want to uncover out of her. The night just about has me spent. I will write more tomorrow. Perhaps the day after. I suppose this all depends on how I'm feeling tomorrow. For now, goodbye.

Vincent


	2. Entry 2

Authors Note: Thanks for those of you who reviewed. I was please to see reviews come in so fast.

Sydon: Thanks SO much for your review, and I indeed served you the pleasure of more of this document. Keep on reviewing your opinions and tell me what you think. I like to know what people think of my work.

Cutiemoon: Thanks for reviewing! I'm just glad I haev the pleasure of knowing you and being a good friends of yours. Please keep reading!

Now without further ado, I present to you, the NEXT in the journal saga!

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January 7th, 2003 

How interesting. A day ago I talked to sister Lily. Apparently Alessa has been found. At first I didn't believe my sister. I thought perhaps it was false news and false hope, until she told me Claudia told her. I know for a fact Claudia wouldn't make such an important topic up. She's far too clever. I recently tried to ask Claudia today. She merely ignored my efforts and pretended she couldn't hear me. The only thing passing through those pale pink lips was, "Don't forget our cult gathering on the tenth." That was all the important information she told me.

Today I decided to explore the library for any potential connections to what Claudia believes and what has happened in the past. I came up with a few rather, important artifacts in the town history. It seems The only data that could uncover anything is currently removed by Claudia. Imagine that… The book was of course, The book written by Dahlia Gillespie. Fortunately, what I've found elsewhere contains information that I had to dissect carefully. Once I got past the lesser important details, what I uncovered was that Alessa had possibly been reborn into a new body. Its not for sure, but its happened in the past, so I don't doubt it. Those documents were far too brief for me to find out much more than that, but I understand the just of it all. It infuriates me to know Claudia is keeping it hidden and safe from my grasp. If only I knew how, or when, or even if its possible for Alessa to be reborn. Perhaps I could sneak into Claudia's room for a bit to find the rest of the details. I'd have to been keen in my investigation.

I possibly have a allies on my side against Claudia. Many of the other sisters find Sister Claudia to bring fright into their hearts. I for one feel the same. I am also aware sister Lily and sister Abigail hold a great liking to me. After taking the study of psychology, you tend to pick up on a few things people do or say that become oblivious to anyone else but you. This puts me one step ahead of Claudia. The more members of the cult I have on my side the easier it may be for the rest of the cult to deny Claudia her wish for Salvation. I myself have my own doubts about the resurrection. When I first joined this church, I was eager to learn and discover every square inch of its glory, but over the years I've begun to realize, this place isn't all it appears to be.

The thing I've enjoyed most about being a larger member of this cult is the money I receive in the process. I must admit, not all of the money I've received was earned, some was given to me or taken. The given parts I admire, but the taken parts, I regret. No matter how much Claudia tells me I'm going to Hell, I simply shake my head. If I was meant to stop, someone would have stopped me by now. Its most laughable how Claudia has such great sight, yet she doesn't notice the cut in her personal funds. Perhaps she simply ignores it. She views money with such scorn its ridiculous! I, however, find good use for every cent I receive. I often wonder what my life would be like if I had never moved to Silent Hill in high school. Perhaps I would never have taken up psychology. Maybe I would never have been picked on in school, leading me to join the cult of Silent Hill and all its power. Perhaps I would never have taken a chance, and never have lost something I loved. This cult, my money, my sisters… This is all I have left in this world. My parents no longer are in contact, they gave up on me when I ran away at age nineteen and joined the church. I often think of my mother when I see the eyes I inherited in the cracked bathroom mirror every morning. She was always telling me life lessons. One I will always hold by me is my all time favourite, "You are where you stand." I choose to remain in power. I am powerful. Not spiritually like Claudia, but mentally. I've gotten by well.

I guess this is a good time to stop writing my thoughts. If I continue I'll be here most of the week. My mind never stops thinking, not even for a second. I'll write more on he Alessa case as news proceeds itself to my ears and eyes. Until then, I leave you wondering what comes next.

Vincent


	3. Entry 3

Authors Notes: Thankyou EVERYONE who has been leaving me reviews, your inspiring me greatly! You won't be easily disappointed, coming events are about to unfold as each chapter goes on. Keep reviewing, its building my confidence!

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January 8th

Its been a while since I entered Claudia's room. I finally found the document. I had just enough time to look it over before she returned from her evening mass in the church. It seems Alessa has a much longer story than I expected. I should have knwon there was more to her story than what people let on.

It turns out that when a man named Harry Mason came to this town when I was merely 14 years of age, he brought with him the other half of Alessa that had been lost in the madness she suffered when her house was set on fire with her inside. That piece of information I already knew of. I didn't' know, however, When Harry tried t stop Alessa, she had given him her soul in a new child as a sympathy gift. When she 'died' she recreated herself for a second time! I was stunned by this incredible, yet horrifying news.

If Claudia manages to track her down using her sight, the god she intends to receive will, without a doubt succeed. Lucky for me, I researched a past document right out of Claudia's diary. Her father had told her about a seal, the seal of Metatron. The seal is the only thing that could stop this god from being born. I'm glad I managed to think ahead and find a possible stop to all of this madness in Claudia's brain. Claudia's sight rarely fails her, I know this from my own past experience. No doubt Claudia will discover Alessa soon. If I could locate Alessa first, I could possibly warn her ahead of time. I just hope Claudia fails miserably. I would love more than anything for one day, if she realized her god was nothing more than a n ingredient to stir up her own personal fantasies. I guess I know Claudia too well, Nothing in this world will ever stop her.

High school was one of the only years Claudia and I were on each others good side. I just wish I could have made her see the right way of thinking. She should never have claimed Dahlia Gillespie as her adoptive mommy. Dahlia was a crazy over-religious bitch in her time, its Claudia's turn to take the fall too I see. I can't do anything to stop her either… That is what sickens me the very most.

I can hear Claudia coming down the hall now. Her feet like to patter when she walks. Just the sound of the hard cold tile hitting those palled sticky feet is enough to strike curiosity in my heart. I wonder what she's thinking now, I wonder what she wants to do, I even begin to wonder if she knows I was in her room earlier on. I can imagine if she knew, she would have stormed her way over to my door and yelled at me in her usual superficial way.

I suppose I can't worry too much longer about Claudia and Alessa. The night is late tonight… I need my rest. I'll try searching for Alessa tomorrow. Anything to stop Claudia from winning. Claudia has to be stopped and fast… She's capable of anything and everything. Perhaps that's the reason I fear her so deeply, despite her petit frame.

Well, I'm off into the night. I intend to explore Claudia's room again tomorrow… Maybe farther back entries in her diary will tell me more. For now I dream of nothing more than a nice warm bed and a big fluffy pillow under my heavy head. For tonight, I'll dream… For tomorrow night, I'll plot out a way to stop Claudia dead in her tracks. Goodnight all.

Vincent


	4. Entry 4

Authors Note: Sorry to everyone who likes this piece, my internet has been down and it took me alot to get this piece alone on. I'm still writing however! For all my reviewers, thanks for your support and for baring with me this long. Enjoy!

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January 9th

Today I snuck back into Claudia's room. She had mentioned to one of the sisters she was going to be out reading books in our Library this afternoon. I overheard of course. This was a good opportunity to explore further into her head. I happen to spend a lot of time there in the Library myself, so I wouldn't doubt if she was there for more than two hours. I read back to a few years ago, the first page of the diary. I wasn't expecting to read about so many human emotions inside of her. I suppose judging by her actions its hard to realize she lives and breathes like everyone else in this world.

She spoke of how her father had slapped her and ripped some of her hair out. He was trying to make her respect his beliefs about the God. This part only refreshed my memories of the pain I once felt for her. As I recall her telling me he beat her a lot. He tried to smack his beliefs into her delicate head. If there is one thing about Claudia I will never underestimate, its her stubborn refusal to listen to anyone but herself. This was around the time she resembled a human. This was the time she took great interest in me. I can't deny this was the time I miss the most. She was so beautiful and shy then. She and I were... Close then. I suppose this truly isn't important to the rest of this entry... I'll continue with the information I needed to share.

As I read on I read about the final time her father hit her. I told her not to take it anymore. That was the time she was so desensitized she sent him to the mental hospital without a second thought about it. This only gave her the chance to pursuit her dreams further. She soon became the head priestess of the Church. I remember that day, I was the one to initiate her. What a day that one was…

I didn't get a chance to ponder further before she came back but I just have to keep digging… Tomorrow I'm going to take a visit to the Library and see what information I can dig up. Perhaps I can find out which books Claudia signed out. Then I could get somewhere.

I can smell the fresh winter air through my window. A sweet smell of peace. I love the winter. I love the coldness, it gives me a reason to curl up in a big blanket the same as I did as a young boy. I can't deny it, I miss being a kid. I miss the days when magic was good and we all believed in the tooth fairy. Magic is no longer white magic where I am now, its black… As for my beliefs in the tooth fairy, its long gone. I regret being in the cult some of the time. You can join but the only way you can leave is through death. I wish I could have got married and had a son. I regret not having a son. I guess mourning over something I can't have isn't worth my time.

Well, I suppose I'll have to end this little entry now, Claudia is hasting me to join her for the evening mass we both have to perform every Sunday night. Farewell for another night.

Vincent


	5. Entry 5

Authors Note: I'm very sorry for all the fans that had to wait for m to put up this next chapter. I've been quite busy but I was inspired to write again. Thanks to everyone for reviewing, it inspires me to write faster aswell, especially lenghtly ones. I hope you enjoy this entry, I've worked hard on it.

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January 12th

I was rather shocked by Claudia today. I'm always expecting the unexpected from her, however today, it was a totally different case. Claudia hates money. She would rather set her slender toes on fire than to ever touch the 'sin' stained in those twenty dollar bills. She finds money to be the reason the world is so cruel and to her gods great disliking.

Today Claudia walked up to me after our morning session in the Church. She began to talk to me and ask me about myself. She even smiled at me with that angelic mouth. She nearly had me convinced she wasn't up to something until she asked me for money. I asked her why and she merely told me it wasn't of my concern.

What could she be after? When I refused she walked off without another word. Perhaps sister Claudia is wishing to go on a little shopping spree with sister Lily and I, perhaps she's wished to buy a lovely pair of socks as white as her skin, or perhaps black ones to match her heart? I think not. The only possible reason Claudia would use money, would be to get to Alessa. But how? I don't understand. Why would she use money to do that. She has her sight, does she not? Money is just an unusable object to her any other time. Perhaps our beloved sister has become lazy? Perhaps her powers drain her. I notice sometimes she is weak, her eyes are unfocused and she becomes clumsy. It often seems like a bad case of intoxication. I've had to catch her a few times as she makes her way over to the staircases. She's not as heavy as one might expect, of course those times wouldn't be my only experiences holding her delicate frame. I suppose I shouldn't try to recall those times, they've been long lost like a ship in the Bermuda triangle.

Claudia has left me nothing else in her diary. All she mentions is reading a book or two. I've even skimmed them, they're just for her own personal entertainment. She sometimes confuses me with her rare thought patterns. One day she won't stop obsessing about her plans, and other days she's as peaceful as a swan gliding along the glistening lake. Perhaps this is yet one of the most interesting attribute about my dear Claudia. She's so different from anyone else. How I wish she would have never given up her trust in me. I suppose this was my own fault. I didn't try hard enough. She has always been and always will be, a wild horse.

I really must be going back to the Library tonight. I need to do more research. I need to find out what could have been in Dahlias diary. I need to know where she went, and who might have taken her. I just wish I could persuade Claudia, I seem to have lost that power over her. She's always held the power to make me curious. I doubt I really had much anyhow. Its taking effect everyday since I first started this ridiculous hunt for Alessa. She's made me want to know what the past holds all the same as her. She was fourteen at the time of this entire occurrence. I was twelve. I don't know the past of this town, I wasn't raised here like her. I was raised in Liverpool with the rest of my family. I recall coming here in my first year of high school. I sat in the back of the class. Everyone was just as proper here as in England. I must say the boys were more interested in sexual contact than the ones back in England. It was as thought people were sinners here despite their manners. I hated those boys, they beat me up, they stole my money, they also wanted to take my dignity. I refused them that. Claudia was the only girl to understand my situation. She had been there. Girls made fun of her skin, her hair, and even the way she dressed. Those boys were too busy chasing their plastic dreams to notice a girl like her. She may have had more brains that bosom, but that didn't make her any less appealing.

I had better stop with all this nostalgia, its not helping me. I'd sooner find better luck in the Library, but only if I look soon. I really hope the diary is available tonight. I will write back when I know more.

Vincent


	6. Entry 6

January 13th

I believe the Gods beamed on me last night. The diary had just been taken back. I managed to take a look inside. From what I've read in the diary, when Alessa was burned her soul was split in half. This meant Dahlia could never get her plans to work this way. Being the crazy hag she was, Dahlia thought by burning the poor girl she could rush the God out of Alessa's womb. All she did was lengthen the process. She cast a spell that one day, the other half would return. Seven years later, it did.

The other half of the soul was transplanted into the body of a baby, hence the new soul is born. The baby was revealed to a man, his name was Harry Mason. Harry took the baby and raised her for seven years. In that seven years time the child began to feel the pain of Alessa, her other half. This is what Dahlia wanted. Dahlia knew the other half would want to find the part of her that was trapped in pain. This made the other half want to return here, to Silent Hill.

When the two came back here to Silent Hill, the new soul rejoined its other half. This left Harry the will to find her. Little did Harry know, this also helped Dahlia. Harry would find Alessa, then Dahlia would be brought straight to her. Dahlia only needed him to lead her to Alessa's now completed soul. Unlike my father would ever do, Harry wouldn't stop until he found his child. Harry was left with no choice but to face the premature God, Samael. Harry destroyed the God, but mourned the loss of his child. Alessa took such pity on Harry, she gave him a new baby. The baby made of her and the soul he once raised.

Now I know the truth. The entire story. I kept not seeing thesimple detail about the youngest soul feeling the other souls pain. It wasn't mentioned in Claudias diary, yet it was the key to my constant wondering. Claudia is using her sight a lot lately. I know she is getting weak from it. Claudia indeed has found Alessa in the sense she still exists, but she cannot find her physically. That is the simple flaw I overlooked before. She is having a much harder time finding her because she knows only Dahlia had the power to use the summoning spell to fetch Alessa's soul, this is also because the soul is no longer seperated, it ceases to feel the pain. The physical form is the only way she can bring the end to her craving. But if my thoughts are correct, Harry will have likely moved her, hidden her away. He would likely have changed her name, his own name, anything, just to keep her safe from this cult and this entire town. Perhaps this is what has been causing Claudia so much mental and physical strain. She has begun to change. She has been talking to me a lot lately. It is as if she needs someone to talk to, someone to listen, however, She only rambles on when she speaks. She told me she missed me the other day. I wanted to question her but she merely turned away from me and walked fast down the hall. I haven't quite figured out what she meant. Does she miss me, or us? The way we once were. Does she miss how we used to communicate so easily, or does she miss the fact that I was the only one who never found her to be worthless after her only friend, Alessa was gone? It still wracks my brain. Sadly, Claudia's not the only one facing these traumatic changes either.

I have noticed the fog has been rolling in heavy a lot lately. Silent Hill is turning into its nightmarish world yet again. I noted the other day about Vatiels behavior. He appears to be heading beneath the Church much of the time. He insists on staying down there long hours. I know his history. He is the one who must nurture God until he is no longer needed. The church isn't permitted to react to Vatiel or what he does, we aren't even permitted to acknowledge him unless their is a good enough reason. Claudia does most of the reacting to him. She often interacts with him and sometimes gives him orders. The members of the church find this appalling.

I've noticed some of the sisters and brothers sense fear and are considering leaving the church to visit some of the Orders old confidants. Most of the sisters don't have many senses, none as great as Claudia's, but the sisters with any senses want to leave this place fast. The brothers of the order are all waiting patiently. There is no doubt about it, something is coming. I just pray to whatever God out there, that I be spared. I don't believe I deserve the punishment Claudia insists I deserve. I don't want to believe it. I suppose theirs nothing I can do about it now. Everything is left to fate.

I pray my fate be left in merciful hands. For now, I really must find Claudia, perhaps I can confront her before she decides to sleep in that small room she calls a sanctuary.

Vincent


	7. Entry 7

Authors note: This is probably the hardest Entry I've had to write. I'm very easily capable of screwing tihs one over, but I believed I could do it and I really didn't want to let everyone who likes this story down. Kawaii1, this piece is for you, you're my favourite fan that I've met on here and I really wanted to complete this so you might read it. I hope you enjoy this!

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January 15th

Claudia is losing her sanity, yet again. I confronted her the other night. She told me the time was near. I undoubtedly knew she meant the rise of her God. She looked sad somehow. She spoke in only light tones. She told me it wasn't my fault so long ago. She told me "It just wasn't meant to be, Vincent." I wish she never told me that. Her words are running like poison through my veins. I can't let go of the memory. I wish she just told me anything other than what we both really needed to hear. Why Couldn't she grant me that one small wish? Why won't she grant me the truth I crave? Perhaps this is the Hell she talks about. If that is indeed so, I've been here since she told me "It won't work, you don't believe in the same things as I." That was years ago.

Yes. I admit it. It was easier for me to live my life back then, I was possibly the most free I've ever been in my life. So many doors were open to me then. I could have taken more psychology in university. I could have gotten a small job at a local store to pay for university. I had every credit I needed to get in. I could have gotten married to anyone then. All the women thought I was rather charming then. I was like the roster of the hen house. I could have done anything, but then there was Claudia. She was the only door I chose to open in that long hallway of choice. Yet, she was the girl no one wanted. She was known as the ugly albino that talked too much and did magic. What man could ever love such a fiend?

I wish I had turned my dashing head away that fateful day, I could have avoided this cult completely. But then I saw him. The Priest of the Order. He was tall, he was gaped upon like a king that retold Gods words. He had power, best of all, he had riches. Had it not been my lust for power and money, I may have never taken it upon myself to join. I can reconstruct everything I did that day, every move, every thought, every thirst for my power and money I had. It's never left me. I still look to them as if they're the answer to all my worries, just like red wine is the answer to every heartache I suffer on those long tempting nights I spend alone, drinking in the pure bitter sweet taste of my regrets.

To regret. If I had a penny for everything I regret, I would be a rich man. For, money can't buy happiness. No. Happiness can't be bought. I may be the one person who can say that and mean it sincerely. Only very few event in my life made me happy. Money wasn't involved. An amazing woman was. Now she's merely the shell of the girl she once was. She's been so broken. Her entire past is shattered. The Shards of her past still stab her deeply. Only I can see that. She torments me so deeply, sometimes I think she deserved it. Other times, I know she never did.

Why does she tell me lies. It only impales the knife in me further. Why won't she just let me be? Why must she not only haunt my memories, but my conscience too? Why must she let this hurt me so? I'd rather be killed by her own hands. I admit it now. I loved her. No. I love her. I've loved her ever since the moment I saw her. Her pale skin, soft, cold and white, like snow. While most of the boys were practicing ways to avoid Claudia, I was practicing ways to talk to her for the first time. Her eyes may be cold as ice, but I will never forget the way they used to sparkle when we were close. Those freckles. How they thought those freckles were ugly, I may never know. All I really do know is they are located all over her body, adding pigments of colour to her fare complexion. Why was I the only one to see her true beauty? I continue to wish for more reasons to hate her. Why do I do this? The answer is so simple. Hate is easier to deal with. To love someone is too hard to handle when you've lost them to your own actions. I would rather spend forever hating her than spend another minute worshipping the memory of something I'll never have again.

I will only breath this once more, but never again in this lifetime. I love Claudia, I will always love her until the very last drop of blood bleeds from my veins.

Vincent


	8. Entry 8

Authors Note: Now the plot is finally almost entire into where the game picks up. Enjoy!

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January 17th

I couldn't believe my ears. Claudia found Alessa. I was in such complete and utter surprise to realize she could easily complete her mission. She could win this. Her stupid dream may very well come true. The most comical part of this, was Claudia hired someone to find Alessa. I presume her sight isn't as keen as it used to be now that she'smiddle aged. That explains a lot to me. She wanted to use my money to hire a detective. She must not have wanted to use her own earnings. How ironic of her. She wished for me to pay some something I don't believe in following. She hired a detective by the name of Douglas Cartland. She isn't extremely discreet about her findings when she chooses to write about it in her diary. She also isn't very protective with her door unlocked the entire day she leaves.

She explained in her diary she is planning on waiting for the right moment. She wants to let Douglas Cartland find Alessa and using her sight she will be able to find Alessa this way. She anticipates Alessa won't remember her. With being reborn its difficult to say. I presume she has some memories preserved like an ancient mummy, it has yet to be unwrapped.

Claudia stated in her diary she would be waiting outside Silent Hill for Alessa. She wishes to get a glimpse of her favourite Childhood friend. I believe Alessa was Claudia's only friend before I came along. I can only guess she hopes Alessa might have one small spark of a memory left deep inside that new brain. Claudia will want Alessa to remember her, it will help hatred rise from within due to her past life.

Claudia knows about nurturing God. Her motive is to let the hate in Alessa's heart develop the God. Claudia has wrapped her morbid brain around the fact that people who have no hatred can cause hatred. People with no hate can make other people upset. I suppose she knows this from experience. The only people to harm her in any way were the people with no hate filling their hearts. The "happy" people as she calls them. Those "happy" people would be about to hold some incurable hate for Claudia if they ever knew what Claudia wanted in life. They wouldn't be to "happy" about going to hell with the likes of her or I. Me being the boy all the bullies liked to mess with.

Claudia left a photo of the new Alessa on her dresser, I've decided I wanted to know her face. Alessa has short blond hair now, many freckles, but not nearly as many as Claudia. Her skin is light and her eyes are now hazel looking from this camera view. Alessa is about average looking for a teenager. Of course, I haven't saw any in a long while I could be mistaken. Alessa is without a doubt, very beautiful and small framed like Claudia.

Claudia is going to be outside of Silent Hill. I think I may just pack my most important belongings and follow. Perhaps I can stop Claudia before its too late. Claudia wouldn't be able to stop me if she isn't focusing her sight on me. She won't even know I'm coming along for the ride. Before I forget to mention it, Claudia discovered Alessa's new name. Its not Cheryl like before. This name slips right off my tongue most appropriately. Like wind rustling through the trees. What is the name you ask? Its none other than, Heather.

Vincent


	9. Entry 9

Authors Note: This is getting scary. I'm lmost close to the very end of this. I don't want it to end yet. I hope everyone is really enjoying this. I know one of you is. I also wonder who can catch the sexual indication in this entry. Its somewhat hidden but here's a clue... "dirty." Well thanks for reading this far guys. Here we go, enjoy!

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January 18th

I've finally met her. I've finally come face to face with Heather. I must admit she has somewhat a sharp tongue, yet I would as well under her condition. I wasn't aware of how little she knew about herself. She didn't even know why she was placed in this atrocious world. She doesn't know that she's the mother of God… if she knew that, she would understand why. She wasn't told a single detail about this place from her father. I presumed Harry was wanting her to stay with him, in his nice world, in his loving household, under his brave protection. He always appeared to me as a sneaky guy. Heather became angry by that sentence.

She looks very much like she does in the photographs Dahlia once owned. She has a few different aspects of her that have changed, they were fixed by herself. She's a very normal sized girl, she's not athletic looking, nor is she fat. She is medium sized height and has almost the perfect personality. If only her rude tone would change.

I don't want Heather getting to far into this world until I've located Claudia's exact coordinates. I've told Heather to enjoy herself a bit longer here. I was almost positive she wouldn't, but it was the only idea I could think of. She seems to think there is something wrong with me too. I don't believe their could be, but coming from a teenager, god knows. She's lucky to be young. I envy that about her. So many options in life. She can be happy one day, if Claudia doesn't get her way that is. I won't let her get her way so easily either.

Heather dares place me in the same category as Claudia with one glance. Somehow she has amazing instincts. She must have picked up that I'm apart of the same cult. That's my only explanation to this mystery. I'm nothing like Claudia, nor will I ever be. I could never do the things she does when no one knows. I could never share those horrid childhood memories. It would be too much pain.

I really must find the place Heather lives. I've traced her back to the Daisy Villa Apartment complex. She and Harry must live there alone. I intend to have a word with him before Claudia gets there. I was so deeply mesmerized by Heather, I completely forgot to give her a map of Silent Hill. She'll end up there at some point to stop this mysterious world, she might as well know her way around. I myself have always had good direction. Claudia told me so once when we were alone together years ago. I somehow doubt those are the same kind of directions. I suppose its no use thinking so dirty. I think about her like that more than its healthy to.

I hope I can run this map to Heather quickly and make my way down to the Church fast. I need to make sure Claudia didn't snake away again. She's far too talented at that. I'll write back in a few hours in the safety of a peaceful spot away from monsters.

Vincent


	10. Entry10

Authors Note: Hey everyone, sorry for the wait, I just had to leave you in some suspense. This is the latest piece and I trust you'll like it. If not, then why are you reading this far? Hehe. I tried to make some cut scenes make sense in this (At least in this fiction). Enjoy and don't forget to review!

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January 18th,

I hope I didn't make a big mistake today. I decided to wait at the motel in Silent Hill. I figured Douglas would rondez vous with me back here with Heather. The first person I see of course is dear sister Claudia. My luck. She was very upset by the fact that she had to kill Harry. She decided to tell me all about it. I told her not to kill people, she'd have been just as bad as her conniving father, but Claudia listen to me? I think not. She asked me where Heather was. I told her she was visiting Leonard. Claudia was infuriated.

Claudia tends to hate it when her father is brought up in conversation. She began getting annoyed with me. I probably made a big mistake when I said to her so satisfied how her father would hurt her in front of me. I cannot explain why. I love to see her pout. At the same time. I hate to hurt her. She was on the verge of tears and I soon regretted it. I told her she needed help, she told me I wouldn't understand… apparently no one understands her. I believe that now.

I had just had a little visit with Heather here, almost immediately after Claudia left. I knew if I told Heather Claudia was here, she would have stormed out without listening to me. She doesn't like me at all considering she knows nothing about me. I told her how to get to the Church. I just hope Heather can stop Claudia that way. I think she is intelligent enough, although she lacks trust in those around her.

I think I shall go take a walk to the Amusement Park. I will see if Claudia or Heather has made it that far yet. I'll be sure to leave dear Douglas a note to let him know I left and talked with Heather. I bet he won't even come. I bid Heather luck as she continues this courageous quest. I'll write yet another entry after I've made my way there. The monsters, I trust, won't make a move to hurt me. They look up to me, as much as I wish they wouldn't. I can't tell what Claudia would do. No. Claudia has definitely gone insane now. I feel a great sense of sadness over that. I can't do anything about that now so I should just give up on her. Its hard though. I'll just have to try harder.

Vincent.


	11. Entry 11

Authors Note: Hello everyone. This is my latest piece up here. yeppers, this is very special this one. I hope you like this one alot and my number one fan out there, I'm excited for you to read it! Enjoy!

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January 18th , (continues)

I see Heather has made it as far as the merry-go-round. She's discovered the secret passage and I prey she finds Claudia. I don't want her to kill Claudia. Don't get me wrong, I dislike what Claudia does greatly but I hope she lives to see the flaw in her ways. I hope to see her return to her former self. I hope to see her love me the way she used to as well. I doubt all this would happen for me.

I wonder how far we will all get. I wonder if I will make it through this night. This is the end. This is the night we will see what the worlds outcome may prove to be. Claudia may win and the world will die. I wonder if Heather would win? Would the world be happy this way? What happens if its up to me? What happens if I fail? What then? So many questions. I long for answers to my own madness. Maybe it isn't Claudia that is crazy, maybe it's the rest of the world.

I hope I can survive this night. I want to go down to the lake if I do. I want to sit there and think. I want to drown in the memories of my past. My childhood. My love life. All the memories that keep me sane, I want to bathe in them. I want peace when the madness is finally over. I hope I can have this. I believe I deserve it. I doubt anyone would agree, but its what I want.

I hope one day Heather will realize, I was always on her side. I want Claudia to know that, no matter how much we fight, I will always feel the same as I did years ago. I don't regret our time together. It was worth every breath taking second, in my eyes. I just wish she felt the same. Maybe its much better she didn't.

I think my life is going no where now. I think if I had never joined this retched Church I would have been fine. I would have been happy. I can't go back now. Death is the only way out the true leaders of the cult told me. With this much knowledge I would become a threat. I just want to go out and have an actual life, instead of chasing a truth better left unknown.

I think the night is drawing itself to an end soon. Before dawn approaches I must go back to the church, through the doors, down the long winding halls, to Alessa's chamber… then I will find her. Claudia awaits inside. I know that for a fact. She will be outraged to see I have come so far to stop her. She will more than likely try to kill me. I don't think she will succeed. Not unless she truly does feel nothing for me. We'll see about that soon enough I fear.

In the mean time. I will take my leave to the Church.

-Vincent.

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I bet seeing as how this is before the Church, you think this is the end. ITS NOT! I have one more I'm for SURE putting up here. Don't get worried just yet Vincent fans!


	12. Entry 12 The End

Authors Note: Cries The END! This is sad, but you won't be sad if you really love Vincent. Also be warned. I may just cook up another Vincent fanfiction. Maybe not a journal, but something that has him involved. I hope everyone likes this alot because I was sad to finish this masterpiece! Well, lets not make a sob story out of this ending. Go ahead and read it! And if you review, leave a long one, I wanna hear exactly how much I moved you. If I did at all. Enjoy!

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January 19th

I can't believe it. I'm free. I'm finally free of it all. I survived. I remember certain points of my journey. I was inside the church. I became very angry when I arrived. Claudia kept telling me to leave. To go home. I refused. I told her the church was my home. It was my only home. I had built it myself after all. She didn't want to fight me. I didn't understand at first. I had guessed she wasn't in the mood. I was yelling at her when suddenly Heather walked into the Church doors. I don't know why I said it. I told Heather to kill Claudia. I told her the time had come. I enraged Claudia. She thrust that short sword of hers into my back. It only hit the meat at a very lucky angle. I laid there on the ground. I was shocked for the first couple of minutes. I couldn't feel anything. I looked up into her eyes. She tried to hide it. She couldn't, not from me. Regret. She didn't want to hurt me. I still didn't understand. I told her she should go to hell, after all, she felt so bad about her own sins. She looked me in the eyes. She let her body fall on top of mine. She thrusts the sword through my heart. I thought I was going to die for good. I blacked out. I looked back up to see her in a praying motion. She only used that to talk to Alessa in her prayers. I blacked out once more for the last time.

I woke up on the merry go round. A note was written in blood on the ground. At first I didn't know what was going on. I realized it was daylight shining above me. I figured that Claudia was defeated by Heather. I read the message. It was from a story I read once as a child. "The girl saw her prince had been defeated by the demon and cried. She raised up her hands to pray for an angel to save him from a sad death." I felt something I hadn't felt since I was a child. I felt something inside overcome me. I began to cry. Claudia. She saved me. Maybe she did love me. Even after all of this. She must have somehow decided, if her plans did fail. I'd be safe.

The order doesn't know I'm alive. I expect they'd believe I died in there. I can finally go home now. I can see my mother. I no longer have to write letters she will never be able to reply to. I'll start a new life. I'll become the psychiatrist I've always wanted to become. Maybe I could start a family. Maybe I could have a child of my own. The choices are mine.

Claudia. You beautiful angel. I will never forget you. I mourn your death. I may have tried to hate you. I never could. I just pretended. As did you. I will thank you forever. You saved at least one soul with one last call upon your goddess. I can't take back all the pain that has been placed in both of our hearts. You were my soul-mate. I don't think anyone has ever given me a greater gift than you have dear Claudia. You given me a new start. A new chance. This is my own rebirth. My sins may never be repaid. I will try until I die to repay my debts. I will never steal, cheat or take what isn't deserved. Its what you've always wanted.

This prayer has changed my outlook on this cult. It has changed my outlook on life. Its time to go back home now. Its time to leave this all behind me. I will keep my journal. I will let this be the last entry I make in this. I hope that one day, when I feel myself slipping back into this madness, I can look upon this journal. I will remember the lessons. I will never let greed take over again. I will take time. I will think over things. I will make better choices. I will live my life.

-Vincent


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